She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
