So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I fill condoms, not promises.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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