I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
