dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
