OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize