they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
