You work out of a Hotel?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
