It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
