Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
