I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
