Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is wine microwaveable?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
