Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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