I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
