It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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