im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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