70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
