Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize