I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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