I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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