going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
