the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
