Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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