Small penises have feelings too.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
