He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
