She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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