you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
