why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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