i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
