Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
