girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
