My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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