i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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