Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
