Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize