Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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