I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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