is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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