omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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