i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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