Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
