Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
