ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my being single is dangerous.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
