i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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