he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
