I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Randomize