I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
