I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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