would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He kissed a someone with a penis
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So squirting runs in the family.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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