She's JV to your varsity
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
