Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This baby is an asshole
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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