i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Damn victory sex feels great
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
