ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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