I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
