Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
