lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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