my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
