I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
