idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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