if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
