Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
