i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize